Government Employee So Busy They Don’t Even Have Time For Standard 90-Minute Lunch Break

26 November 2025

Chaos has erupted in the Department of Administrative Processing this week, after one mid-level public servant was reportedly forced to complete nearly a full day’s worth of work, leaving no time for the traditional staring out the window or extended lunch rituals.

Colleagues say 47-year-old policy officer Darren Menzies arrived at his desk at 9:27am, fully expecting to spend the morning leisurely scrolling through news sites before heading out for a long café lunch. But by 10:15am, he was “absolutely snowed under” with two urgent emails and a Teams message from someone in Canberra.

“It was relentless,” Darren later told coworkers while still visibly shaken. “I only had time to make myself one instant coffee before I had to… actually do something. It was disgusting.”

Witnesses confirm that Darren’s usual two-hour sojourn to a nearby Thai restaurant was cut short to just 45 minutes, with his pad thai ordered takeaway instead of eaten slowly while complaining about management.

To make matters worse, Darren’s workday spiralled so far out of control that he was unable to clock off at his regular 4:51pm sharp — instead being forced to remain in the office until the “outrageous” time of 5:06pm.

“It’s inhumane,” said one colleague. “The bloke barely had time to scroll realestate.com.au and check the cricket scores before he was being asked to draft a briefing note. Honestly, this is not what we joined the public service for.”

Union representatives have already lodged a formal complaint, warning that if such “dangerous levels of productivity” continue, the department risks setting a precedent where employees are expected to meet deadlines or even respond to emails the same day.

At press time, Darren was seen staring blankly into the middle distance, insisting he was “catching up on strategic thinking.”

 Any resemblance to actual tax law is purely coincidental and deeply unfortunate. It’s parody.